Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours!

December 7: Time to go home

Just a couple of Australopithecusses standing around

Dec.7/10

In flight, leaving Addis Ababa



We're all packed up and ready to go.  I'm looking forward to seeing our Canadian kids again, but I really don't want to leave Ethiopia yet.  I love this country!

This morning we went to the National Museum, where we saw oodles of ancient artifacts.  Lucy was found in Ethiopia, and I understand that Ethiopians are quite proud of their country being the cradle of humanity.  Unfortunately, Lucy is on loan to the Boston museum for five years, so we only got to see the fake Lucy.  I do hope that Ethiopia is being well paid for the loan! 



We finished our shopping for the orphanages, at last.  This is what was divided between KVI Addis and KVI Adama:

• 200 kg Tef
• 60 litres oil
• 10 bars soap
• 2 XL boxes laundry soap
• 40 kg rice
• 40 pairs shoes
• 6 XL cans powdered milk

I've added everything up and put the main list on the sidebar.  For those who donated, whether it was clothing, medicine, shoes, diapers or cash, Thank You.  Your gifts made a huge difference to the children in the orphanages.  May God bless you and reward you for your generosity!



At the Tef factory

We had originally planned to split the donations between KVI Addis and KVI Soddo, with a little bit given to the Transition House as well.  But Solomon (KVI Addis) warned us against it:  he said that if KVI Adama heard that Addis and Soddo had received a huge load of donations, their nose would be out of joint.  haha!  So we did end up dividing the goods three ways, with the largest portion going to KVI Soddo, since it is (by far) the poorest of the orphanages.  Soddo Solomon called today to let us know that the kids and staff in Soddo are loving the chance to have a little oil in their wat.  :)

Tonight before leaving, we walked to the market one last time to purchase some bread for our trip.  We paid 2 birr for it (about 12 cents).  When Molligatah heard the price, he laughed and said it was a ferenji price, but how much lower could a whole huge chunk of bread be?  It seemed a fantastic price to me, anyway.  We had a final coffee ceremony with Asenaku and Zenabah, and they also tempered Joanne's coffee pot for her.  I videotaped the whole thing, so I can do it with mine when I get back to Canada.  (Note:  Sadly, my coffee pot was smashed to smithereens on the way home.  I'll have to get another one on our next trip!)

We ate one last meal, then said all our goodbyes and headed to the airport for our 11:30pm flight.  It was so sad to leave; we truly felt at home here.  I can't say enough good things about the KVI Guest House.  All the money we spent here goes directly to support the orphanages, and that alone is enough reason for us to come back here.  The staff honestly felt like family; we enjoyed every minute of our stay here.  I can't wait to come back!!!!!

Closest I've ever been to the Greek islands

Hi Gudrun!

December 6: We have met the kids!

Dec.6/10
Addis Ababa

Feeling a little nervous, waiting to meet my children!

This morning we met our children for the second time -- this time as their parents!

We got picked up at 10:00 by Kids-Link Solomon.  Seriously, we're dealing with THREE Solomons here: KVI Guest House Solomon, KVI Soddo Solomon, and Kids-Link Solomon.  (Insert clever wisdom joke here.)  The Transition House is very close to the Guest House.  We were led straight into the parents' room, where we stood and nervously watched the corridor as Sister Hana went to get the children.  Sure enough, our daughter appeared first, dressed in a super cute pink jumper dress; then came our son, in brown cords and a white soccer T-Shirt.

The kids were a little shy at first (and maybe we were, too!)

The first few moments were a little awkward!  It was a little surreal to be a family, but not to know each other at all.  It was odd, and unsettling.

He was a very happy guy.

Once the care packages came out, though, the ice was broken!  They were absolutely thrilled with the photo albums; they loved seeing their own pictures on the first page, and as they looked through the photos, you could watch them make the connections about who we were.  Our son, especially, was definitely putting two and two together, and visualizing himself in the photos.

The next, and biggest, hit was the voice recorders.***  They both just held them up to their ears, big smiles on their faces!  Our son tried every button, explored the battery compartment, flipped the tape around, danced to the music, and got all excited to hear his name on tape.

She pretended it was a cell phone ("Hello, Mommy!")

Our daughter pulled the doll out of her backpack (thanks, Moe!) and that was it... she didn't put it down again, even when playing soccer with Mr Gwen!  She also loved the headbands, and put one on her head, one around her neck, and three on the doll.

We spent the rest of the visit outside playing soccer.  Both kids have great kicks!  Our daughter sat on my lap and played with her doll:  that was so sweet!

It was a nice visit, about 1hr 45min.  Both kids -- especially our son -- were ready to come home with us today.  It was so, so sad:  Sister Hana had explained several times about the Visa wait, but what kid understands the demands of Citizenship and Immigration Canada?  (Heck, what adult understands it?!)  We could easily understand that they wanted to go with us.  It was so difficult to leave them there.

After we left the Transition House, we did some more orphanage shopping.  We purchased:

• 200 kg Tef (will pick up tomorrow)
• ~30 litres oil
• 40 kg rice
• laundry soap
• powdered milk
• soap
• another 20pr children's shoes

These donations will be divided between KVI Addis and KVI Adama.

Not much else to report.  The Gulleys and we went to Cloud 9 for dinner:  excellent service, totally mediocre food.  We looked around the mall afterward; I'll go back there and get some shoes for the kids on our next trip.

This is our last night in Ethiopia.  :(


*** I specifically chose the older tape recorders, as opposed to the digital voice recorders.  I thought it would be too easy for the children to accidentally delete the voice files on a digital recorder.  I'm not sure this was a wise move, though, since it's also quite easy for them to press "record" on the tape recorders, and erase the tape.  We'll see, when we pick them up, if there's anything left on the tapes!

December 5: Back in Addis

Cattle, ever-present on the highway

Get out of the way, Molly and Bessy!

Mooooo!

Dec.5/10
Addis Ababa

Back in Addis.  It's starting to feel like home!

We were in Wolayta Dec. 3/4.  As I said, the trip was incredible.  The scenery was magnificent: the soil in and around Soddo is rich red, and everything looks so lush and fertile.  I don't know what it's like before the rainy season, but it's certainly beautiful now!  We must have seen thousands of donkeys, goats, cows and oxen, plus lots of dogs and chickens.  Driving in Ethiopia isn't for the timid -- vehicles always have the right-of-way, and people and animals just have to be careful.  But pedestrians and animals share the roads with vehicles, so sometimes it gets a little hairy.  I don't know what our driver Tilahoun would do if the horn on the van ever broke.

Some typical sights we saw:

• barefoot children making the trek for water with plastic jerry cans
• women with huge loads of firewood on their backs
• people carrying sacks of grain on their heads
• small children responsible for tending flocks and herds
• donkeys loaded with so much sisal or hay that you can barely see their heads and legs
• women and children doing laundry in muddy streams and rivers
• oxen treading out grain -- honestly!  Just like in the Bible!

By the time we were back in Addis last night, everybody was ready for some Western food.  We went to New York New York (restaurant) for burgers and fries.  Yum!

Today we were so wiped out that we decided to skip church and get a little much-needed rest.  We had breakfast at the Guest House, then puttered around, sorting laundry, etc.  And I committed the crazy sin of brushing my teeth with tap water!  :o   I was thinking of a million things, and just did it automatically.  I caught myself mid-way, and rinsed really well with bottled water.  I have been feeling funny all day, though -- I must have eaten something yesterday that was iffy.  I stayed home from Kaladies (a coffee place) when Mr Gwen and the others went there this afternoon, but I did get out to Makoush (restaurant) with everyone else for dinner.  That was a big mistake, though... I'm not actually sick, but definitely feeling a little weird.  I'll fast all day tomorrow, and hopefully starve out any nasty bugs that are camping out in my tummy.  Urgh.

It was fun to go to Makoush tonight, though.  Shirley had picked up her girls in the morning, so we got to meet them.  They are little sweeties!  Our two know her girls, of course, having lived together in the orphanages.  Shirley and I plan to keep the kids in touch through Skype.  Um, this means I have to figure out how to use Skype -- I guess we need to get a webcam!

We Saw What We Saw

We interrupt our regularly scheduled journal updates to bring you this video -- for those of you in our family & church family, this is the edited, online version. :) Enjoy!

December 3 and 4: Wolayta

Street in Soddo, outside the Fanta Vision Hotel

Dec.3/10

Soddo, Wolayta
 

We met the children's birth mother today.  I'm struggling even to know what to write.  She is a lovely, lovely woman who clearly loves her children immensely.  When we gave her the photo album, she cried and kissed their faces.
 

note:  Obviously, the rest of this post is censored, because we're keeping the information about the children's birth mother private.  This is their story to tell, not ours.
  

The meeting with the birth mother was easily the most significant, life-changing time that we spent in Ethiopia.  For those of you who have a chance to meet your children's birth family, I urge you to do so -- the photos and video we have of this visit will be priceless to our children. 
 

Resting under a tree; outside Soddo

Dec.4/10

Soddo, Wolayta

approx. 6:00 am

Now that I've had a good night's sleep, I'm thinking more clearly.  I'll try to describe the incredibly significant day we had yesterday!

This guy showed us his home made toy -- very cool!

We were up and ready to leave the Guest House in Addis by 6:30am.  It took a while for all the donations to be loaded into the van; Tilahoun ended up strapping some things to the roof.  We were on our way by 7:00, and after picking up Shirley at the Weygoss, we headed out of Addis.

The drive south to Soddo was beautiful.  The further south we went, the more beautiful and picturesque it became.  Soon the countryside was full of tukuls - the round huts with the thatched roofs.  The people also became noticeably poorer the farther south we went.  We saw SO many donkeys, goats and oxen on the roads!

It was about 6 hours' drive to Soddo.  Soddo itself is home to approximately 50,000 people, but somehow it has a real small-town feel.  The roads are generally not paved; the soil is very red and quite beautiful.  It makes me sad to think of our children being transferred to Addis -- such a big, noisy, scary city -- even if the Addis orphanage is much better equipped.

Lots of donkey traffic in Soddo

When we arrived in Soddo, we checked in to our hotel and took 30 minutes to freshen up -- that's difficult to do when there's no water and no power!  I flopped down onto the bed and nearly gave myself a concussion:  this is the single hardest bed I have ever felt in my life.  We may as well throw a sheet over a concrete slab and bunk down for the night.
  

And then we were off to the orphanage!  The compound itself is quite small, and very, very poor.  I didn't see much of it then, as we were ushered into the director's office straightaway.  The director, Solomon, seems like a wonderful man who is doing what he can with very little.  He was so thankful for the donations we brought, asking us to please pass on our thanks to everyone who donated.  (THANK YOU!)  Our donations included:

• rice (30kg)
• oil (15 litres)
• diapers
• soap
• medicines
• digital thermometer
• clothing
• vitamins (thanks Mom!)
• sheets
• blankets
• shoes (~35 pairs)
• cash

Dropping off the donations... the staff was overjoyed!

We planned to give Teff, but Solomon indicated that they were in need of cash, as they're having trouble paying for vehicle rentals and children's paperwork. We weren't at the orphanage long -- it was time for us to go visit the birth mom.

note: the rest of this journal entry is censored for privacy. Thanks for understanding!

A lovely, traditional tukul



December 2: It's Over... They Are Ours!

Writing in my journal after court

Dec. 2/10
Addis Ababa

After a somewhat sleepless night, we had breakfast with the Gulleys as usual.  I'd woken up at 3:00am and just couldn't go back to sleep, so it was a good time to just pray and think.  It was actually a good time, because I really got settled inside myself, and realized that the whole situation was completely in the Lord's hands.  No amount of stress and fretting would change the outcome.  I still really wanted to pass, obviously, but had peace in my heart that God's sovereign plan would prevail.

Before breakfast, Asenaku (at the desk) said a few words that meant a lot to me, although they sound so simple.  She said, "God knows the best.  He knows the plan before you came to Ethiopia."  Something about that really touched me!

After breakfast, the Gulleys prayed with us, along with Gennet and Solomon.  It was really special to me; we'd prayed for the Gulleys on their court date yesterday -- it's a wonderful thing to meet other believers who are sharing the same experience.

Right after we finished praying, the van arrived -- Germatchew was here to pick us up!  We left in a flurry of hugs.  Shirley was waiting in the van and we talked 100 miles a minute as we drove.  We stopped at the Kids Link office to pick up Martha, then went on to court.

This branch of the Federal Court is in a very unobtrusive building.  The elevator was broken, so we walked up 5 levels.  I'd heard from the Gulleys yesterday that Martha had a hard time on the stairs with her high heels, and I had to smile to myself when I saw her in flats today.

The lower levels of the building were full of Ethiopians, a few with children, but mostly alone.  It was very sobering to see them, and know that while I was there for an exciting, joyful appointment, most of their hearts must have been just breaking.  I especially noticed a disproportionate number of grandparents: it was so sad to imagine what their stories might be.

On the fifth floor, we sat down in a waiting room that was full of adoptive parents who were all looking quite tense!  Coincidentally, Shirley was called first, within 2 minutes of our arrival.  She was out in about 90 seconds, with a big smile on her face!  It was a beautiful sight!

And then it was our turn.  We were ushered into a small office by a young woman.  Martha accompanied us, and we sat down.  The judge is a beautiful woman, very soft spoken and gentle.  It's actually quite difficult to hear her, she is so quiet!  She asked us if we had children, if they were biological, and how they felt about this adoption.  She wanted to know how we had educated ourselves about transracial adoption, about Ethiopian culture, and about identity issues.  And finally, she wanted to make absolutely sure that we understood that adoption is irrevocable and cannot ever be canceled.  She asked, "Are you sure that you want to be the parents of _____ and _____?"

I'm sure we both had huge, beaming smiles as we both said positively, "Yes, absolutely."

The judge finished writing in her book and said gently, "That's all I need.  They are yours."

I burst into tears and managed to gasp out, "Amasaganallo," as Martha ushered us out.  After so long, and after so many roadblocks, it was just that simple:  "They are yours."  The whole process took about 3 minutes.

I'm totally overwhelmed and can hardly believe it's true.  They are our children.  Those sweet little children are OURS.  I'm so, so thankful to God -- what an amazing gift!

note:  below, I'll copy the blog post that my sister put up when she heard our happy news.  

-----------------------------------------------

Gwen's email Sent Wednesday, December 1, 11:25 PM

Most beautiful words in the world: "They are yours."


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I feel like I have just shed about 900 lbs off my shoulders.

We won't be able to see them until Monday, since we're going to visit the Birthmother tomorrow (2 day trip), then it's Sunday, so we'll see them on Monday. Then I'll be able to take new photos and send them!

Thanks for all your prayers, we felt very peaceful and confident this morning.

-----------------------------------------------

And now - drumroll, please!!

Ladies first! This is our baby girl, who we`ll call Ehet for now. (Amharic for `sister`.)

And this is our son, who we`ll call Weundem. (Amharic for `brother`.)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think..unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Eph 3:20-21

-----------------------------------------------------------

December 1: Day Before Court

5:15 am:  Sunrise in Addis as we listen to the call to prayer.

Dec. 1/10

Addis Ababa

Another great day in Ethiopia!

I think a lot of the fun stems from the fact that we are here at exactly the same time as our new friends from Alberta, Dennis, Joanne and Bekah Gulley.  They're great people, lots of fun and easy to be around.  Joanne reminds me very much of my wonderful friend Michelle who has moved away.  No wonder I like her so much!

Dennis and Joanne had court today (they passed!) so my husband and I were by ourselves in the morning.  We went back to the little market up the street, and purchased 2kg Mit'n Shiro (20 birr / $1.22 per kilo) and 1kg Berbere (40 birr / $2.43).  We also got little backpacks for the kids' care packages.  We'd originally put their things in ziploc bags, but after seeing the orphanage, we decided they need a little backpack to keep their things together.

It took ages to get the right backpacks.  To begin with, I hate haggling.  I hate, hate, hate it.  I know that it's cultural, it's part of the process and it's expected, but doing it makes me feel cheap and mean.  Well, of course the minute we showed our shiny white faces in this market, and the minute it was clear that this time we'd be buying, we were pretty highly sought-after.  The shopkeepers all call out "Sister! Sister!" and just start showing me random items that they think I might like.  There was this one dude who just wouldn't quit following me, displaying his wooden-handled mops and brooms for me to admire.  Not sure how I'd be getting those home to Canada!

Anyway, in the end we found two backpacks, a reasonable looking dark green one for our son, and a hilarious pink one for our daughter.  The front shows an extremely creepy cartoon picture of a goat with a soft wooly head, and it says "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf."  It was the only girlish looking one in the market, so I went with it, to the disappointment of the man in the next shop who had tried to sell me a gigantic camouflage man's backpack for my 4 year old daughter.  ("Top quality!  Good price!")

* note:  I've just Googled it, and it turns out that

Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf is a Chinese TV show.  Who knew?

After we came back for lunch, we went with the Gulleys to the markets where wood crafts are sold.  We purchased a fantastic wooden bowl, painted with elephants, for my mother who is staying with our Canadian kids.  The starting price was 800 birr (approx. $49 Cdn), which even I understood was outrageous.  It's an undisputed fact here that, for any given item, there is a regular price-- and then there is a Ferenji price.  If the Ferenjis are dumb enough to pay the Ferenji price, the shop keepers will go ahead and let them.  Well, 800 birr for one bowl was ridiculous, even for a Ferenji price!



The Market

Unfortunately for the shop keeper, just then Solomon walked by the shop and I called out to him.  As soon as Solomon stepped into the shop, the poor shop keeper just about shrunk to the floor -- he realized his fatal error in starting with such an astronomical Ferenji price.  Solomon was my champion:  he bargained like a professional.  He insulted the bowl.  He raised his voice.  He grabbed my arm and started walking away.  He pulled me back.  He stroked his chin and looked thoughtful.  He did everything a master haggler does, in fact, and we walked out of that shop with the bowl, only 320 birr ($19) poorer.  Thank you, Solomon!  My mom will love it!



Good price!  Top quality!

I also got myself some great salad fork/spoon set (30 birr), a Mancala game (for which the shop keeper said, with the air of someone making a great concession, that he'd give me the rocks for free) (120 birr), and two small carved wall hangings (30 birr).  We did go to Bookworld today as well, where I got a couple of children's books for our Ethiopian children.

The rest of the day was very low-key.  Another adoptive mom from the Yahoo group arrived today.  She has the visa to pick up her 2 year old daughter.  It was neat to see her greeting the Guest House staff like they were old friends -- I think it really is like a family here!



I love the fruit stalls here: the displays are so lovely!

Tomorrow morning we go to Court.  I am nervous.  If we don't pass, we won't see the children again, nor will we be able to go to Soddo to meet their Birth Mom.  Oh, please Lord, let us pass!!!!

November 30: Entoto National Park

This little guy saw the Ferenji and stuck pretty close to Mom!

Nov. 30/10
Addis Ababa

A great day today!  We went up to Entoto Mountain to look over Addis.  It just happens to be the 21st day of the month today (I think it's the month of Hedar in the Ethiopian calendar), so it's a special day for the Ethiopian Orthodox people: the Feast of the Holy Virgin Mary.  It's especially significant to women.

As a result, thousands (and I mean thousands) of people were swarming up the hill to hear the High Priest preach.  Vehicles were prohibited because of the sheer number of people, but they let our van go up because it was full of ferenjis.  Now, that didn't strike me as being fair! 

Most of the people were dressed in traditional clothing, with nearly everyone swathed in white shawls/scarves.  Even the little children, of whom there were many, were dressed up in their traditional outfits.  It's a very long walk up to the top of the mountain, especially for children, and I was impressed at the devotion of so many, to take their whole day to go hear the High Priest.  It was all very exciting, and we talked in the van about how it must have been something like this when Jesus was on the earth, with droves of followers walking all over the countryside to hear Him speak.



A lovely view of Addis Ababa from Entoto.



At Entoto, we finally encountered the swarming, begging children.  We've heard that it's now illegal to give handouts through vehicle windows, but that sure didn't stop them from asking.  The children come to the van windows, or swarm you if you're out walking around.  They'll just say, "Money! Money!" or pat their tummies and say, "Hungry."  One boy even held up his hand so I could see a tiny growth on the side of his baby finger, and he batted his eyelashes at me and pointed to the growth.  At first it's hard to say no.  But it's patently obvious that some of them are only asking for handouts because we're white:  some of the girls have nail polish on, and maybe a little jewelry, and they are clearly well fed.  With them, it's easy to be friendly but say, "Yeul-lem."  ("No.")  But for the ones who truly do appear hungry, it's much more difficult to resist.

Although my heart is definitely touched by the street children, I do believe that it's unwise to give to them.  Our policy is this:  if someone asks us for money simply because we're white, we won't give to them.  If we see Ethiopians giving to a beggar, we may follow suit -- generally those people are truly in need.  As the Bradt guide says, "Needless to say, blind beggars do well with me."  One thing, though:  we don't give to anyone unless we are just about to go into a shop, or just about to get into the van.  Even when it seems that no one is around, giving even a birr or two to a beggar is a sure way to draw a crowd within seconds!

At the top of Entoto, we walked around a little.  There was a lovely family -- Dad, Mom and toddler -- taking a little break and looking at the view, and when I asked if I could take their photo, they were thrilled:  they absolutely loved seeing the photo of their child on our digital camera!

The whole family, out for the holiday.


The crowds were pretty incredible.  We stood for a while and listened to the Ethiopian Orthodox High Priest speak; it was quite an unusual experience for us, as we're Protestants who don't have a whole lot of liturgy and ceremonies.  Seeing all the significant religious articles and seeing the great respect for the High Priest was really interesting.  I liked it.

There were also some hermits who were preaching!  Now, that is a sight I have never seen.  They truly are John The Baptist types, all wild and crazy and energetic, standing on makeshift platforms and preaching what seemed to be pretty charismatic messages!  I didn't see any locusts in their lunchboxes, but I wouldn't have been surprised.

After we came down from Entoto, we went to the woman's cooperative:  it's a scarf factory where former wood carriers are now working.  There were lots of children in the compound -- I'm assuming they're the children of the women.  The scarves were really lovely; I'd recommend a stop there to anyone traveling to Addis.


These weavers were so fast you'd hardly believe it!

We also went to a shop run by disabled craftspeople -- I believe there's a school for the blind run out of the same building.  I loved this shop; there were lots of handmade toys (which I desperately wanted to purchase, but which were just too big to get home), household linens, etc.  We bought several wooden puzzles:  one big puzzle of all the African countries, one Nativity scene, one of an Ethiopian woman carrying water, and one of a man playing a Djembe.   Very cool.  I also got a tablecloth and 6 napkins:  linen, stamped with designs of an Ethiopian coffee pot.

Yup, kids do karate poses all over the world.

Next, we went to Shido Mata, a market where they sell traditional clothing.  Although I'm not an enthusiastic shopper, especially when haggling is involved, we did pick up two outfits for our Ethiopian kids, and a shirt for Mr Gwen.  I've emailed our Canadian children to ask if they're interested in an outfit, too.

We went to Blue Tops for pizza, and when we got back to the Guest House we had a coffee ceremony.  (Yum!)

Dinner was at Yod Abyssinia again, although to tell the truth I'm not crazy about the food there.  But there's dancing in the evenings, which we'd heard was worth seeing.  Since the place was packed out, we ended up sitting in the front row, off to the side by the kitchen area.

The dancers were incredible; they performed traditional dances from various regions of Ethiopia.  The Gurage dance from one of the tribes in the SNNP region was the best!  (Our kids are not Gurage, but they are from the same region.)  That was towards the end of the night, and by then I think some of the audience had already had a few too many; lots of people from the audience went up to the stage to join the dancers.  It's so cool that these traditional dances are still being danced.  I love it that both new and traditional culture can co-exist, although I guess, like anywhere, the old traditional ways are slowly dying out as the country becomes more and more modernized.

Anyway, the dancing was amazing.  We were just about ready to go, watching the most intricate and energetic dance so far, when....  the lead dancer came down off the stage, sashayed across the floor and dragged Mr Gwen onto the stage!  Now, my husband is not a dancer.  The only thing that could have been worse would have been ME on that stage... I think I would have wet my pants in terror.  It was so funny; I was almost in tears, I was laughing so hard.  Dennis videotaped the whole thing, and I think we may need to bribe him not to post it on YouTube when we get home.  The dancer tried to teach my husband this traditional Gurage dance, without much success; the whole restaurant was roaring with laughter, although it was goodnatured and not mocking.  He did great and was a good sport about trying to learn this crazy dance, and had everyone cheering in the end.  A night to remember!

Below:  The dance these men are doing for the first 15 seconds of this video

is the dance they were trying to make my husband do!

November 29: We've Met the Kids!!!

Nov.29/10
Addis Ababa

We met our children today!!!

In the morning, we went to the Hilton to exchange some dollars into Birr.  We were going to be picked up by the Kids Link driver, Germachew, at 11:00 to head to the orphanage, so we killed some time having coffee at a great little shop called Tomoca.  Joanne and I were getting pretty nervous by this time, so it was good to have someone to talk to!

The Hilton... let's pretend this is what Addis is really like.

Sign at Tomoca -- "When you drink a cup of coffee,
ideas come in marching like an army."

We drove back to the Guest House and waited until 11:45 or so, when Germachew and Sister Hana showed up.  (Not that we were watching the clock or anything!)  The Gulleys went to the orphanage first, since their little baby would soon be going for a nap.  My husband and I puttered around like old women, nervously organizing things in our room, and writing quick emails.  It was so nerve-wracking, to think that after so, SO long, we'd finally be seeing them face-to-face.

At about 12:30, it was our turn.  As the gates of the orphanage opened, the very first child we saw was our son -- he had been waiting for us.  When he saw the van with Ferenjis (foreigners) inside, he shouted, "(sister's name), (sister's name)!!!" and ran to find her.

The purpose of this visit is meant to be totally secret from the children.  They are NOT meant to know that their prospective, adoptive parents are coming to look specifically at them.  The reasons are obvious:  if the parents fail to pass court for any reason, the children would feel even more rejection and abandonment than they already do.  If the children don't know that these Ferenjis are their future parents, they won't feel any pain if the adoption falls through.  Parents are told, very sternly, that we are not to pay any special attention to any specific child(ren); we are to treat them all exactly equally.

No, that won't be difficult at all.

Well, that's the way it's supposed to happen.  In practice, however, I'm not sure how well that works!  I do know that our children definitely knew that something was up.  I am absolutely convinced that they knew we were there for them.  If nothing else, the fact that our son was kept home from school that day must have tipped him off!  Throughout the visit, both children were keeping their eyes absolutely glued to us.  It couldn't have been more obvious that they believed we were The Ones.

As soon as we stepped out of the van, we were just swarmed by children.  The kids are all so, so sweet; they are clearly being treated well, but they were all over us, definitely parent-shopping, calling my husband "Daddy! Daddy!" in Amharic, and looking for attention.  The little ones were hugging me, and I did sneak in a tiny kiss on my daughter's head.  Our boy had to be coaxed into coming close, but he edged away after hugging me.  (Please note:  I hugged ALL the children, not just ours!!!)  I was furiously scanning all the children's faces, looking for any referred children I recognized from the Yahoo group, but it was very difficult to tell who was who.  And it wasn't the sort of environment where I felt comfortable asking the staff about individual children.  The staff are obviously displeased with the new law that requires parents to meet the children pre-court, and for good reason: I think they are fully aware of the negative impact it can have/is having on the children. 

The teachers organized the kids into a circle, and they played a sort of "Duck, Duck, Goose" game.  The person who was "It" stuffed a wadded-up shirt up the front of their own shirt, and walked around the circle singing a call-and-response song.  When they decided who to tag, they pulled the wadded-up shirt out and dropped it behind the person.  Then it's just like Duck, Duck, Goose -- the point is to run around the circle and be the first to sit in the empty spot.  I think the game is a great way to let parents surreptitiously observe their children, by the way.  It's a good opportunity to see them interact with other children, display decision making processes and gross motor skills.  And I really did love to hear their sweet little singing voices!

My husband sat in the game circle (wow, I love that man) and the kids on either side of him were far too busy stroking his watch and snuggling up to him to pay much attention to the game.  It was so sweet, but also so sad.  I know there are many kids in the orphanage who won't end up being adopted, for one reason or another -- most, because they're simply too old.*  It's a great orphanage, yes, but no orphanage can provide the love, security and stability of a family.  I pray that those older kids can be adopted to a loving family.

* by "old," I mean any child over 5 years old.

The game dissolved when another van rolled through the gates, and the kids all ran to greet the visitors.  It turned out to be Solomon from the KVI Guest House.  Our daughter approached me, and I crouched down.  She hugged me for a long time, then slipped her little legs over mine, so she was sitting on my lap.  I was getting a nasty look from the staff, so I gently put her down and stood up, trying to look casual.  But then she put up her arms to be carried!  Well, I would pick up any child in an orphanage who did that -- it just happened to be my own referred daughter.  So I picked her up and held her briefly, then playfully set her down again and turned my attention to other children.  It was very difficult to pretend to be nonchalant, but I could feel the staff looking daggers into my back!  Oh dear!!!  I can see why the Ethiopian staff isn't crazy about this new law; their job is clearly made difficult by these situations.

The visit was just about over -- the children were called inside for lunch (an excellent lunch of injera and some sort of meat wat), and that was that.  We did get shown around the orphanage a little, and although there is a very strict no-photo rule, I tried to commit it to memory.  I poked my head in the room where the kids were eating, and one of the caregivers LOUDLY pointed out our daughter.  She looked up right away, and smiled at me -- I mean, COME ON!  Is this supposed to be secret, or what??!  I tried to just smile and wave at all the kids, but our children's faces made it clear that they suspect.

For their sakes, now that they are so positive we're here for them, I so, so hope we pass court on Thursday so that we can see them again before we leave Ethiopia.

I'm really tired and ready for bed, so I'll stop now.  We did take a walk around the neighbourhood surrounding the Guest House, and found a great little market up the street, past the mosque.  If I had a quarter for every time we heard the word "Ferenji" called out, we'd be rich by now.  :)

Poor goats, trotting in happy ignorance to their doom.

Heading to the market, just up the street from the Guest House

November 28: First Full Day in Addis!

Nov. 28
Addis Ababa

Our first full day in Ethiopia!  I woke up at 5:30am -- my husband heard the muzzein in the mosque down the street from us at 5:15, but I slept right through it.  We went to church with Solomon, Tilahoun and the Gulleys from Alberta; it was a multi-cultural, English-speaking church, and it felt exactly like a conservative Evangelical church in North America.  We sang Chris Tomlin songs and everything.  Quite funny!

After church we went for lunch at Yod Abyssinia.  Good food -- it turns out that my sourdough injera tastes very close to real injera, which is a relief -- the kids will probably eat it happily!  But I must say that Tafel's recipe for Doro Wat is far better than the one they're using at Yod Abyssina.  Honestly!  It was a great meal, though.

We drove to the orphanage afterward, so Solomon could ask about our meeting the kids tomorrow.  (He wasn't getting through on the phone.)  I was concerned because we're supposed to go tomorrow at noon, and our son should be in school then.  We parked outside the gates, since we're not allowed inside, and a caregiver came out to talk to Solomon.  The gate was open just a crack, and we could just barely catch a glimpse of the children playing inside.  It was so surreal to be close to our future children, but unable to see them.  I can't wait until tomorrow.

We got back to the Guest House and crashed.  I woke up after 20 minutes or so and puttered around a bit, and wrote an email to our family.  I wish our Canadian kids could have come to Ethiopia with us.  :(

A Sailor Went to See See See

There are a bunch of little kids living in the shanty-type houses across the alley, and I hung out with them in the morning, with the Gulley's daughter.  So much fun -- it's amazing how much can be communicated without words!  They are downright hilarious; they sit out there with their eyes peeled, watching our windows. As soon as they see a glimpse of us, they start screaming out, "hi! hi! hi! how are you! hi!" ..until we finally give in and go play with them. They don't beg for anything, just for our attention.  We showed them "up high, down low -- too slow!" and a simplified version of "A Sailor Went to See See See."  And they demonstrated their cartwheels and handsprings, right there on the jagged and broken pavement.  I wish I had brought some sidewalk chalk; I assumed there wouldn't be any smooth surface to draw on, but there is a tiny bit of pavement in front of each gate.  Next time I'll bring some for sure.

Cirque d'Addis

Tonight we had a coffee ceremony with Asenaku, Zenabah and the Gulleys.  It was lovely!  Asenaku has recently transferred to the Guest House -- she was previously working as a caregiver at KVI Addis.  She was excited to hear that we will be adopting (our boy) and (our girl).  I asked her what they were like, and she said she'd especially loved those two.  She said that our son is very shy and quiet, and he likes to play soccer.  Our girl is much more vocal, loves to sing in Wolaytan, and loves to play hide and seek.  Apparently our girl is NOT shy; she is always the first to raise her hand when the children are asked who wants to sing.

Coffee ceremony with the lovely Zenaba (R) and Asenaku (L)

Asenaku said that our boy does an interesting thing that's unlike any of the other children:  he will not eat until his sister has eaten first.  Even when the caregivers reassure him that she will be fed, he won't eat until he sees that she has food in front of her.  My heart nearly broke to hear this.  What a terrible load he's had to bear; how terrible it is that they understand the pain of hunger and deprivation.  I'm going to have to brush up on all the research I've done about food issues, and sibling/parent role issues.

Asenaku confirmed the meanings of their names:  our son's name means "God's chance", as in "God has given a chance to live."
Our daughter's name means "She rains."

One final thing:  since our children speak both Amharic and Wolaytan, our son acts as the translator for the caregivers, when other children from Wolayta come into Addis.

Note:  Wolayta - wohl-EYE-tah

Tomorrow we meet the kids!!!!!

November 27: First night in Addis

NOTE:  We're back home, safe and sound!  I'll be posting about our trip every day for the next little while, based on what I wrote in my journal while there.  Enjoy!

Vancouver:  Breakfast, after getting through US Customs.  Around 4:00 am

Seattle:  Mr Gwen doing pushups in preparation for a 10.5 hour flight to Frankfurt

Frankfurt:  no evidence of the famed German efficiency

 

Lufthansa's flight tracker:  Almost there!

Nov. 27/10
11:15 pm
Addis Ababa

We are finally here!  It took ages to get through the Visa lineup, then Customs, but Solomon from the Guest House picked us up with no problem, and now we're here at KVI Guest House.

My first impressions of Addis Ababa?  Such heartbreaking poverty.  The power in the city is out tonight, and maybe that's making things look worse than they are -- but I sat in that van on the way from the airport to the Guest House, and just wanted to cry.  There are homeless people everywhere, sleeping on the sidewalks with blankets pulled up over their heads; young prostitutes lining the streets, some in their early teens; stray, mangy dogs everywhere you turn.  I have never seen anything like it, despite having gone to other developing countries.  I'd thought that the poverty in Jamaica and Mexico was bad.  But the little I have seen of Ethiopia so far is absolutely shocking.  I knew that Ethiopia ranks in the 10 poorest countries in the world.  But reading about it is nothing like actually seeing it.

The more I get to know about Ethiopia, the more I am coming to understand that the cultural gap between us and our children will be enormous.  What has shocked me, tonight, is totally normal for Ethiopians -- although I'm not saying it's not heartbreaking to them.  But it grieves me to think that my children have seen these same sights.  I'm glad that we'll have a bit of time to adjust to and appreciate this culture before taking them into our care.

I could write lots more, but I'm completely exhausted after the flights!  Must get to sleep -- breakfast is at 9:00, then church at 11:00.  I'm really looking forward to seeing this city by daylight!

Home Sweet Home

Arrived in Vancouver yesterday afternoon, but couldn't get a flight home as they were booked solid.  We're leaving Vancouver this morning, and will finally see our Canadian kids again!  Can't wait to hug them. 

First thing I will do:  make myself a proper cup of tea.  Second thing:  have a long, slow bubble bath in 100% drinkable water!  Horray!

YES!!! THEYRE OURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwen's email Sent Wednesday, December 1, 11:25 PM

Most beautiful words in the world: "They are yours."


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I feel like I have just shed about 900 lbs off my shoulders.

We won't be able to see them until Monday, since we're going to visit the Birthmother tomorrow (2 day trip), then it's Sunday, so we'll see them on Monday. Then I'll be able to take new photos and send them!

Thanks for all your prayers, we felt very peaceful and confident this morning.

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And now - drumroll, please!!

Ladies first! This is our baby girl, who we`ll call Ehet for now. (Amharic for `sister`.)

And this is our son, who we`ll call Weundem. (Amharic for `brother`.)

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Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think..unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Eph 3:20-21

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